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The Titan’s Bride

I grew up in his shadow
              and as a girl
                     I worshipped him from afar
              and as I grew bolder
                       I would sit
                                 for hours
                                      on a rocky outcropping
                      telling him the secrets
                                   of my meager life
                       Honored that he spoke to me!
                                           and me alone
                                                  among all Humans
                                          he spoke
                                                    to me!

                           that’s how I felt
                   and I loved him,
                                    a young girl
                                               what did I know

                                    I loved him
                How could I know
                        what pain
                              Loved held for me
                                       in those mighty arms

                    How could I know
                                      that those arms
                         that held up

                                     The world
                  could never hold me
                                        with such care

          But I loved him
                        I loved him
                               because he was
                                                  so alone
                              Loved him
                                      because he stood
                                                     above all men
                                         entrusted to hold
                                                     the celestial heavens
                                                                          and Earth
                                               Loved him
                                                        because he held
                                                                      us all from falling
                                             And I loved him
                                                              because by
                                                                  by acknowledging me
                                                    he lifted me up
                                                         all women

                                   I was exalted
                                               the chosen on
                                           It was as much my pride
                                                  as Loves innocence
                                                                that led me
                                                                    into his

                                                                    into his solitary world
                                                 that delivered me
                                                              into this life
                                                                    of torment
                                                                           and anguish
                                              The betrothed
                                                                 of Atlas
                                                  The Bride
                                                         of strength
                                                                 and longing
                            but I was a young girl,
                                           a Shepard’s daughter
                                                       what did I know
                                    I loved him
                                         and lived in the stone cottage
                                                       the villagers built for me
                                                                               of  the edge
                                                                           of the ancient forest
                                                                                           that grew up
                                                                                               around his feet
                                                I danced and sang
                                                        among  the dark
                                                                     eternal pines
                                                     that sprang up
                                                                 between his toes
                                  and every day
                                         I would climb
                                                    to the rocky
                                         and pass the time
                                                    in idle chatter
                                                            wishful thinking

                                    There was enchantment
                                                      you can not imagine
                                    He saw everything
                                                 felt everything
                                                      heard everything
                                    as if over centuries
                                                   the burden he shouldered
                                                           had become
                                                                    his flesh.
                              He told me
                                          of distant lands
                                of great armies
                                        of leopards
                                     of gleaming white cities
                                                where women wore
                                                         and perfumes
                                         tales of adventure
                                                      of daring
                                                             of the rise and fall
                                                                             of great men
                                                                                         and nations
                                          he could see it all
                                                      he could foretell things
                                                 every tremor
                                                        every wind
                                                              carried news
                                                                          of storms
                                                                                and droughts
                                                 or even of a sparrow
                                                                       to avoid
                                                                                  the hawk.

                                        Can you imagine
                                                           knowing all this?
                                                      yet he never moved
                                          and sometimes
                                                          for days
                                                               he would be silent
                                                as if somewhere
                                                     deep in the bowels
                                                                        of the earth
                                                    some great sorrow
                                                                 moved unseen
                                                                             by all but him.
                               But as season
                                             after season passed
                                   I grew weary
                                                   of my climb
                                                             up to the outcropping
                                       weary of my
                                                  empty house
                                                           and empty arms
                                       weary of his
                                                   immutable distance
                     Weary of his damnable
                                               sense of duty
                                                           that kept him
                                                                   standing there
                                                                               day after day
                                                                                        night after night
                                     Weary of this
                                                     empty honor
                                                                              and I would climb
                                                                                                      the rock
                                                                    shrieking into the wind
                                                   ”Give it up
                                                        rest for one night
                                                                      no-one cares
                                          no-one even knows you’re there
                       What about me
                                        does my love mean nothing
                                                                       come down to me
                                                                                              and rest”
                              But he would say nothing
                                             Sometimes he would
                                                            turn his face away
                                                                            when he saw me
                                     and  I would harangue him
                                                                     all the more.
                        ”Fool” I cried
                                      ”look at me
                                              I grow old
                                                        in your shadow
                         Can you not for one moment
                                                          embrace me
                                              instead of all the world
                                                             a world that has forgotten you
                                    while I love you

                    The young Shepard boys
                                         do not come anymore
                                                                        at night
                           No- one comes anymore
                                      I have out lived
                                                    my children
                                                          any living memory
                                                                                     of me
                                                           I grow old
                                                                     by degrees
                                                                              more subtle
                                                                                         than a tree

                                          But somehow
                                                   I cannot leave him
                               as if somehow loving him
                                                             has bound me

                                                                         to his fate eternally
                                                   As if his weight
                                                             has become my own
                                                                                and I will not
                                                                                                 can not

                                                                                               Throw it off.

                                  So sometimes I climb to the outcropping
                                                    sitting silent
                                                               watching him through the clouds

                                          Or to simply watch
                                                        a sparrow Fall.